NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—After decades of coddling young children, Johnson & Johnson unveiled its new "Nothing But Tears" shampoo this week, an aggressive bath-time product the company says will help to prepare meek and fragile newborns for the real world. A radical departure for the health goods manufacturer, the new shampoo features an all-alcohol-based formula, has never once been approved by leading dermatologists, and is as gentle on a baby's skin as "having to grow up and fend for your goddamn self." Advertisement "We at Johnson & Johnson have been making bath time a safe and soothing experience for far too long," company CEO William C. Weldon said. "Years of pampering have left our newborns helpless, feeble, and ill-equipped for the arduous road ahead." "It's time our children got the wake-up call that's been coming to them," Weldon continued. "It's time they cried their precious little eyes out." The result of five years of intensive research and market testing, the … [Read more...] about Johnson & Johnson Introduces ‘Nothing But Tears’ Shampoo To Toughen Up Newborns
Road tested spares
While some automakers like Ford are all but giving up on slow-selling sedans, Subaru is coming out swinging with the 2020 Subaru Legacy. It carries on the, um, legacy of the Legacy as a competent and comfortable all-wheel drive mid-size sedan with a modicum of performance and some impressive tech. It does what the Subaru Legacy has always done well, but adds a bit more room for rear-seat passengers—which has been a common gripe for previous generations. If you need a commuter, a family hauler, decent fuel mileage, and an occasionally fun drive with plenty of standard safety features, perhaps consider the Legacy. It remains an excellent jack of-all-trades sedan. Question is, with a growing lineup of big wagons and crossovers, will anyone go for a Subaru sedan that isn’t bright blue with screaming rally performance? (Full Disclosure: Subaru flew me to Southern California to drive the new Legacy and Legacy XT on some of my favorite roads, put me up in a nice hotel room, and … [Read more...] about The 2020 Subaru Legacy Mostly Nails It As Long As You Get The Turbo Engine
For many players, video games are a chance to escape from work. You hop into a game, sliding into a fantasy role as a dragon slayer or superhero, setting aside the mundanities of day-to-day labor.But as I hop from monster hunting to military sneaking missions, I’ve found that my personal play time is filling up with different kinds of work. I love difficult boss fights and intense combat, but I relish the chance to roll up my sleeves and create something. Crafting systems, something I’ve largely ignored, have piqued my curiosity in massive multiplayer games like Final Fantasy XIV, and I’m spending hours gathering materials and making potions and gear. My first tango with digital “work” came with Stardew Valley. Clearing land, planting seeds, and raising cows was as engrossing as firing rocket launchers or battling eldritch creatures. Yet for a farming game, Stardew Valley is a very social experience. There’s just as much relationship management, … [Read more...] about Crafting In Games Feels Less Like A Chore Now
The Fantastic Arcade 2017 bundle packs a handful of awesome indie games together. You’ll play as an existential Mario fed up with the American healthcare system and a floppy clown dog just trying to eat some eggs. It’s imaginative, lush, and this week’s indie pick.uegos Rancheros collective. Every one of its six games is a bright mixture of exciting experimentation. We’ll start with my favorite. Advertisement Banana Chalice Created by Kyle Reimergarten, Banana Chalice is an arcade shooter in the vein of Space Harrier. It puts you in the role of a flying space cat shooting bananas against enemies in a wide array of colorful zones. It starts small and eventually builds into a dense landscape of meowing, potassium, monsters, and shifting worlds. The sound design layers so many bleepy, bloopy arcade noises over each other that the entire game feels like one massive explosion of creative fun. Banana Chalice lets you cut loose and get lost in bright halls of … [Read more...] about The Fantastic Arcade Bundle
It doesn’t feel like 2019 should be the year of fried food. Aspirational “wellness” goals rule everything around us, encouraging us to ditch booze, sugar, sugary booze, and any breakfast that doesn’t include chia seeds. Paradoxically, air fryers have over the past two years become the sought-after small kitchen appliance, often mentioned in the same reverent tone as Instant Pots. Dig deeper, though, and it’s clear air fryers aren’t antithetical to our dietary efforts—they guarantee the best of all possible worlds. “They’re really promising you the moon,” says Kimberly Janeway, a multimedia content creator with Consumer Reports, which has tested roughly two dozen air fryer models. “The whole allure is the promise that they deliver the delicious crunchy taste of fried food using little or no oil. Some of the claims are—I’m looking at some now—‘great taste with 75% less fat,’ ‘crispy … [Read more...] about Do air fryers deserve the hype?